How do ya piss ?

[coot]

How do you piss?
EXCITABLE - Runs in, grabs for zipper, zipper is stuck; finally gets it down, finds shorts have twisted around his leg, can't find hole, rips button off in rage, pisses in pants.
SOCIABLE - Joins a friend in a piss whether he has to or not.
CROSS-EYED - Looks in one on left, pisses in one in middle, flushes one on right.
NOSEY - Looks into the next urinal to see how the other guy is fixed.
TIMID - Cannot urinate when someone is watching. Flushes urinal as if he has already used it, sneaks back later.
INDIFFERENT - All urinals being used, pisses in sink.
CLEVER - No hands, shows off by fixing tie, looks around, pisses on floor.
WORRIED - Is not sure of what he has been into lately; makes quick inspection.
FRIVOLOUS - Plays stream up and down and across urinal, tries to hit fly, never grows up.
ABSENT-MINDED - Opens vest, pulls out tie, pisses in pants.
DISGUSTED - Stands for a while, gives up, walks out, goes a few paces, turns and charges back. Doesn't make it.
SNEAKY - Farts silently while pissing, acts very innocent, knows man in next stall will be blamed.
CHILDISH - Looks directly into bottom of urinal, likes to see it bubble.
PATIENT - Stands for a very long time, reads paper with free hand.
DESPERATE - Waits in long line, teeth grinding, pisses in pants.
EFFICIENT - Waits until he has to shit and then does both jobs at once.
TOUGH - Bangs penis against side of urinal to dry it.
FAT - Has to back up and take a long blind shot at urinal, misses, pisses on shoes.
LITTLE - Stands on box, falls in, drowns.
DRUNK - Holds left thumb in right hand, pisses in pants.