Quotes

[14inches]

On Men

Men are proof that women can take a joke. -- Unknown

There's no sin in loving men. Only pain! -- "Ally McBeal"

Men are like gum anyway -- after you chew they lose their flavor. -- "Ally McBeal"

All men have something to hide. The brighter the picture, the darker the negative. -- "Rupert Thorne" (on Batman The Animated Series)

Is it me? Is it like I have a beacon that only dogs and men with severe emotional problems can hear? -- "Monica Geller" (on Friends)

I like my men, crispy on the outside and stuck to the end of a fork. -- "Roseanne"

I'm not a lesbian. I hate men, but I'm not a lesbian. -- "Elaine" (on Seinfeld)

The male is a domestic animal which, if treated with firmness, can be trained to do most things. -- Jilly Cooper

Don't accept rides from strange men, and remember that all men are strange. -- Robin Morgan

Men seem to flip around the television more than women. Men get that remote control in their hands, they don’t even know what the hell they’re not watching. You know we just keep going, “Rerun, that’s stupid, he’s stupid, go, go, go.” “What are you watching?” “I don’t care, I gotta keep going.” “Who was that?” “I don’t know what it was, doesn’t matter, it’s not your fault. I gotta keep going.” “I think that’s a documentary on your father.” “Don’t care, what else is on?” Women don’t do this. Women will stop and go, “Well let me see what the show is, before I change the channel. Maybe we can nurture it, work with it, help it grow into something.” Men don’t do that. Because women nest and men hunt. That’s why we watch TV differently. -- Jerry Seinfeld

If men could menstruate ... clearly, menstruation would become an enviable, boast-worthy, masculine event: Men would brag about how long and how much.... Sanitary supplies would be federally funded and free. Of course, some men would still pay for the prestige of such commercial brands as Paul Newman Tampons, Muhammed Ali’s Rope-a-Dope Pads, John Wayne Maxi Pads, and Joe Namath Jock Shields —”For Those Light Bachelor Days.” -- Gloria Steinem

P.M.S.= Putting up with Men's Sh*t! -- Unknown

Do you have any idea what's available to a woman of 33? Married men. Drunks. Pretty boys looking for someone to support them. Lunatics looking for their fifth divorce! It's quite a list, isn't it?-- "Sylvia Crewes" (in The Tender Trap)

Men think less of other men’s writing, but more of other men’s wives. -- Chinese Proverb

Men have always detested women’s gossip because they suspect the truth: their measurements are being taken and compared. -- Erica Jong

Men perceive that equating love and domestic work is a trap. They fear that to get involved with housework would send them hurtling into the bottomless pit of self-sacrifice that is women’s current caring roles. -- Debbie Taylor

Men expect too much, do too little. -- Allen Tate

Men make clothes for the women they’d like to be with or—in most cases—the women they’d like to be. -- Robert Altman

Men’s hearts are cold. They are indifferent. -- Mother Jones

Men hate more steadily than they love. -- Samuel Johnson

There are big men, men of intellect, intellectual men, men of talent and men of action; but the great man is difficult to find, and it needs—apart from discernment—a certain greatness to find him. -- Margot Asquith

Some men have a necessity to be mean, as if they were exercising a faculty which they had to partially neglect since early childhood. -- F. Scott Fitzgerald

All men are somewhat ridiculous and grotesque, just because they are men -- Friedrich Von Schlegel

Men are only too clever at shifting blame from their own shoulders to those of others. -- Titus Livius

If men got pregnant, there would be safe, reliable methods of birth control. They’d be inexpensive, too. -- Anna Quindlin

From Georgina W: The male chromosome is an incomplete female chromosome. In other words, the male is a walking abortion; aborted at the gene stage. To be male is to be deficient, emotionally limited; maleness is a deficiency disease and males are emotional cripples. -- Valerie Solanos

From Georgina W: Deprive man of his life lie and you rob him of his happiness. -- Ibsen

From Irene: Men have two purposes in life: reproduction and to open those friggin jars. -- Irene

From Irene: Men have one advantage in life, they can pee on a tree. -- Irene

From Jeffrey Joseph: "99.9% of men may be jackasses but, .1% of them do nothing but help and serve -- Jeffrey Joseph

From Noemi M: No men, no cry. -- Unknown

From Pinkfrog: Fuck you and your untouchable face. Fuck you for existing in the first place. -- Ani DiFranco

From Angela W: Men are good for one thing, and how often do you need to parallel park? -- Unknown (originally appeared in Reader's Digest)

From Amy E: No man is worth your tears and the one who is won't make you cry. -- Unknown

From Jen: Men never do anything right, and if they do something right, they'll never do it again. -- Unknown

From Beabells: God created Adam and never broke the mold! -- "My mother, Eleanor" <KIM NOTE: Not really sure what this means but anyway....>

From alicenwonderland: Unfortunately, all men were created equal. -- Unknown

From alicenwonderland: Never let your man's mind wander......its too small to be let out by its self. -- Unknown

From alicenwonderland: My mother told me a way to a mans heart is through his stomach..........I think she was about six inches too high -- Unknown

From Pelletier: The only good men are dating each other. -- Unknown

From Rivka: A male gynocologist is like an auto mechanic who never owned a car. -- Carrie Snow

From Rivka: If high heels were so wonderful, men would be wearing them. -- Sue Grafton

From Rivka: If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How intelligent is it to start the day by tying a noose around your neck? -- Linda Ellerbee

From Lindsey C: If you have one you are one! OR Just because you have one, doesn't mean you have to be one.

From Mustang, IN: Men adore me, until I show my intelligence, assertiveness and independence. Then I suddenly seem to be a BITCH! Men are such fearful creatures!

From Rose, VA: If a man is standing alone in the woods and says something.....is he still wrong?

From CeCe, CA: I think all men are DOGS even the good ones!

From Missy, IA: I wasn't born a bitch. Men like you made me this way.

From Maria, NV: The problem with most men is they are assholes. The problem with most woman is they put up with those assholes. - CHER

From Miss Independant, Germany: Men are a luxury, not a necessity. - Cher

From Miss Independant, Germany: If you want something said, ask a man, but if you want something done ask a woman. - Margaret Thatcher

From Mel: Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And patience for his moods; Because Lord, if I pray for strength I'll beat him to death. Amen.

From Sal, UK: Men have two faults-everything they say and everything they do. - Author Unknown

From Black Pepper, LA: Guys think that you are a sidewalk and they just walk all over you!

From Janice, NJ: Men are only good for two things, the double D's: Dick and Disappointment!

From Kellis: If a man goes though life following his cock, it will eventally get caught in a closed door.

From Leirza, New Zealand: Remember,only punish men that deserve it. But don't they all deserve it? Well, yes, I was getting to that.

From Paige, PA: If men can't sit there and look pretty, then they might as well go fix something, that's all they're good for. Men weren't put on this earth to think they were put on the earth to please women.

From Allisonshine, NY: There are easier things then finding a good man; nailing jello to the wall for instance...

From Linna, MA: Men say kissing is the language of love but then afterwords they end up having a conversation with your best friend.

From Mary, CA: My boyfriend said that taking out the trash wasn't a priority and I decided he was no longer a priority.

From Mary, CA: Multi-tasking is a foreign word to men.

From Mary, CA: Men have all the time in the world to make themselves happy and little time for anything else.

From Mary, CA: Men are full of a lot of things, excuses being high on the totem poll.

From Mary, CA: I try to keep people who lie, break promises and need a 24 hour mom to a minimum.

From Mary, CA: The only reason to keep a man is: hmm...there isn't one.

From Ashley: Men are not humans, they're animals.

From Nikki & Kim: No man is worth your tears and the one that is, won't make you cry.

From Nikki: Back to the predictable and humdrum, the prince will never come and sleeping beauty is dead. -- Queen of the Damned (The book, not the movie)

From Dani, WI: Men are at the bottem of the pyramid of life. They're jerks and women know it, but the problem is that some of them pretend not to be and then end up as jerks after all. So what's the point in even waiting around for a "good one"? How about we bury 'em and use them only for breeding.

From Seattlgrrl: Men, no matter how unappealing, each of them imagines he is somehow worthy. - White Oleander, by Janet Fitch

From JC: I have come to the conclusion, from observation and experience, that men are like farts. Unpleasant experiences that we must walk through and the only good thing about it is that we learn how long we can really hold our breath.

From Heather, IL: Men aren't that complicated, they're kind of like houseplants. - Samantha from 'Sex and The City'

From El, UK: It's not healthy to keep your head so far up your ass; I should know, I'm a nurse! - from 'High heels and lowlifes

From Ashley R, NJ: Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, and the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

[14inches]

On Men And Women

Men and women, women and men. It will never work. -- Erica Jong

Woman is the dominant sex. Men have to do all sorts of stuff to prove that they are worthy of woman’s attention. -- Camille Paglia

What men fear most is ending up in the wrong profession; what women fear most is ending up with the wrong man. -- Chinese Proverb

Men and women would be even more unhappy if they really understood one another. -- Mason Cooley

Both men and women are fallible. The difference is, women know it. -- Eleanor Bron

Between men and women there is no friendship possible. There is passion, enmity, worship, love, but no friendship. -- Oscan Wilde

When men and women agree, it is only in their conclusions; their reasons are always different. -- George Santayana

Sure men were born to lie, and women to believe them! -- John Gay

Most men act so tough and strong on the outside because on the inside, we are scared, weak, and fragile. Men, not women, are the weaker sex. -- Jerry Rubin

Men renounce whatever they have in common with women so as to experience no commonality with women; and what is left, according to men, is one piece of flesh a few inches long, the penis. The penis is sensate; the penis is the man; the man is human; the penis signifies humanity.-- Andrea Dworkin

Men are the enemies of women. Promising sublime intimacy, unequalled passion, amazing security and grace, they nevertheless exploit and injure in a myriad subtle ways. Without men the world would be a better place: softer, kinder, more loving; calmer, quieter, more humane. -- Ann Oakley

Men need women more than women need men; and so, aware of this fact, man has sought to keep woman dependent upon him economically as the only method open to him of making himself necessary to her. -- Elizabeth Gould Davis

Men have a low threshold for distraction. They are delicate. They are made nervous by having to do more than one thing at a time. They feel frazzled and angry if they have to answer three phone calls, and have a hard time settling back to work after the trauma. Women, on the other hand, develop the skill of doing many things at once. They tuck the phone in between their shoulders and their ears, hold a baby on one hip, stir a pot on the stove, all the while thinking about an idea for a story. They don’t think it’s unfair to have to do this. They think it’s normal. -- Barbara Crafton

Men cannot count, they do not know that two and two make four if women do not tell them so. -- Gertrude Stein

Men know that women are an over-match for them, and therefore they choose the weakest or most ignorant. If they did not think so, they never could be afraid of women knowing as much as themselves. -- Samuel Johnson

[Men say:] “Don’t you know that we are your natural protectors?” But what is a woman afraid of on a lonely road after dark? The bears and wolves are all gone; there is nothing to be afraid of now but our natural protectors. -- Frances A. Griffin

Men decided a few centuries ago that any job they found repulsive was women’s work. -- Frances Gabe

From Ashley Epps: God created Adam before Eve because you always make a rough draft before you create your masterpiece. -- Unknown

From Karen: Men always want to be a woman's first love - women like to be a man's last romance. -- Oscar Wilde

From Christy P: The first thing God said after making man was,"I can do better." -- Unknown

From Erin: We're always telling guys to "just be a man about it" when they don't want to do something, but acting like a man is the problem. Maybe we need to be telling them to "just be a woman about it". -- Erin

From Kyndell: I don't see why women want any of the things men have when one of the things women have is men." -- Coco Chanel

From Irene: The story of Adam and Eve was left unfinished.......When God removed the rib from Adam to create Eve, he also removed 99.9% of his brain. God knew the female would use the brain in productive ways, to study the world and its philosophy, and to also care for man and her children. God also knew that the man would spend his brain to study sports, and certain areas of the upper and lower female anatomy. -- Irene

From Fourty7rambler: When one knows women, one pities men. when one studies men, one excuses women. -- Unknown

From Patience: The only time to you can depend on a man is when you are having sex. You can depend on them to cum earlier than you and to be hungry and sleepy afterwards. -- Unknown

From Flic: All men are bastards, they all are going to die anyway! -- Flic

From JaSvXn: If it has tires or testicles you're gonna have problems with it. -- Unknown

From JaSvXn: No matter how good he looks, some girl out there is sick and tired of his bullshit. -- Unknown

From Phallin4u: A woman only needs 4 animals in her life: A jaguar in her garage. A mink on her back. A tiger in her bed. And a jackass to pay for it all. -- Unknown

From Erin: Behind every great man was the woman that did all the work - Erin Roberts

From Erin: If you're not their mother, you're their wife. If you're not their wife, you're their secertary. But it's all the same job - Erin Roberts

From Heather H: Men seldom make passes at girls who wear glasses -- Dorothy Parker

From Amy E: How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself. -- Anais Nin

From Mellowjello: Behind every great man is a great woman. And behind every great woman, there is another man staring at her ass. -- Unknown

From alicenwonderland: You are judged by the idiot you accompany. -- Unknown

From Rivka: A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't. -- Rhonda Hansome

From Rivka: Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -- Charlotte Whitton

From Rivka: You see a lot of smart guys with dumb women, but you hardly ever see a smart woman with a dumb guy.-- Erica Jong

From Rivka: When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -- Elayne Boosler

From Rivka: Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -- Maryon Pearson

From Rivka: In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man - if you want anything done, ask a woman. -- Margaret Thatcher

From Saharyakhi: If men and women were to share financial responsibilities, then pay for my god damn beauty products, since you’re the reason I purchase them in the first place. -- Saharyakhi

From Saharyakhi: A man's most powerful weapon against woman is other women. They just throw us against each other and sit back and laugh. -- Saharyakhi

From Clarence McG: The only thing shallower than a man is a man's understanding of women! -- Unknown

From Ocschick, NY: Men: Women get mad over the stupidest things! Women: Yeah!, MEN!

From April, HI: Behind every great woman is a man staring at her ass. - Sophie

From Dragon Fire, MD: Behind every man is a woman, waiting to save his ass - Unknown

From Kellis: Men are from Mars, women are from Venus. The reason we like men is cause of their penis.

From Kellis: Men exist to make women look good.

From Aunt Pat: I don't suffer from stress. I am a carrier.

From Aunt Pat: I clean house every other day. Today is the other day.

From Aunt Pat: I came, I saw, I decided to order take out.

From Aunt Pat: What should you give a man who has everything? A woman to show him how to work it!

From Aunt Pat: How can you tell which bottle contains the PMS medicine? It's the one with bite marks on the cap.

From Ashley: I gave you life and I can take it away just as easily.

From Catherine, UT: Behind every good woman is a trail of men. - Tracy Bonham

From Sparklinstar: I'm a lesbian, just because of men. - Unknown

From Kim, NY: Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes. - from "Bruce Almighty"



On Love & Relationships

When I got my first television set, I stopped caring so much about having close relationships. -- Andy Warhol

Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love. -- "Charlie Brown (in Peanuts)

It would appear that love is dead. Or very likely in a bad way. -- Kate Millet

If love means that one person absorbs the other, then no real relationship exists any more. Love evaporates; there is nothing left to love. The integrity of self is gone. -- Anne Oakley

One realizes that human relationships are the tragic necessity of human life; that they can never be wholly satisfactory, that every ego is half the time greedily seeking them, and half the time pulling away from them. -- Willa Cather

Kindness and intelligence don’t always deliver us from the pitfalls and traps: there are always failures of love, of will, of imagination. There is no way to take the danger out of human relationships. -- Barbara Harrison

I have always been principally interested in men for sex. I’ve always thought any sane woman would be a lover of women because loving men is such a mess. I have always wished I’d fall in love with a woman. Damn. -- Germaine Greer

The one who loves least controls the relationship. -- Anonymous

Romantic love, in pornography as in life, is the mythic celebration of female negation. For a woman, love is defined as her willingness to submit to her own annihilation.... The proof of love is that she is willing to be destroyed by the one whom she loves, for his sake. For the woman, love is always self-sacrifice, the sacrifice of identity, will, and bodily integrity, in order to fulfill and redeem the masculinity of her lover. -- Andrea Dworkin

Love’s like the measles—all the worse when it comes late in life. -- Douglas Jerrold

Love is feared: it dissolves society, it’s unpopular, and it’s very rare. -- Christina Stead

A woman’s love goes when she doesn’t see her man. A crude man’s love goes when he sees too much of a woman. A fool’s love goes because of idle rumor. And a scoundrel’s love just goes. -- Hla Stavhana

From Rebeca Gonzales: Don't find your honey where you make your money. -- Unknown

From Mercatur: I've come to the conclusion that my soulmate is having a never-ending dinner party with Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. --
Alice Ridley

From Murderdol: Love is crystal, delicate and beautiful, something important not to be thrown around, becuase when your crystal ball smashes, you'll understand what it's like, to feel the shards of a broken heart, cry the tears that feel like blood running down your face and bleed the sweet pain of a blade. Love is powerful, it can't be dismissed, which is why, if you break my crystal ball, and drop my crystal heart, it splits in two, and only men drop crystal. -- Anonymous

From Karin: Trust no one, believe nothing. -- Unknown

From OXLToWnShOrTyXo: When your ex gets over you in the blink of an eye, you know it was right to dump him and say Buh Bye. -- Unknown

From Sulagna M: Women might be able to fake orgasms, but men can fake whole relationships. -- Sharon Stone

From Mari C: I don't want a boyfriend just for the sake of it. I don't trust most people out there. There's too much at risk and I don't need to be a notch on somebody's bedpost. POW!! I'll flirt with you all night long, but then it's bye-bye! -- Mariah Carey

From Amy E: Don't cry because it is over; smile because it happened. -- Unknown

From Amy E: Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes just be an illusion. -- Unknown

From Megan M: Men will always lie about 3 things: I love you...... the check is in the mail...... and I promise I won't cum in your mouth. -- Unknown

From Rivka: I think---therefore I'm single. -- Lizz Winstead

From Rivka: Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

From Saharyakhi: If you want me to be a lady on the date, then you be a fucking man and pay the god damn bill. You don’t see me farting and scratching all in the name of liberation and equality, do you? -- Saharyakhi

From Little Bear, Canada: There are so many things we can use other than sex appeal. You're a woman, you have a brain -- use that. - Sunshine Anderson

From Little Bear, Canada: Humor works with girls up to a point. They all seem to go 'shut up'- and you shut up. - Matthew Perry

From Dee Dee, CA: Love isn't a virus that infects you, it's a choice.

From Aunt Pat: On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

From Aunt Pat: Everyone is someone else's weirdo.

From Aunt Pat: Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level,then beat you with experience.

From Aunt Pat: A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

From Aunt Pat: The more shit you put up with, the more shit you are going to get.

From Ashley: If you keep kissing frogs, you'll only get warts.

From Catherine, UT: Something tells me that Snow White is smarter than we think. Seven men at perfect height, all seven noses pink. - Tracy Bonham

From Michelle T: When a man shows you who he is, believe him. - Maya Angelo

From Laura 15, IN: I love you is 8 letters and so is bullshit.

From Jess,NE: I wish we were back together for just one night, so I could push you out of my loft bed while you were sleeping. - by Anita Liberty"How to Heal the Hurt by Hating"

[14inches]

On Marriage

Oh! how many torments lie in the small circle of a wedding ring. -- Colley Cibber

Marriage isn’t a word—it’s a sentence. -- King Vidor

Before marriage, a man will go home and lie awake all night thinking about something you said; after marriage, he’ll go to sleep before you finish saying it. -- Helen Rowland

After marriage, a woman’s sight becomes so keen that she can see right through her husband without looking at him, and a man’s so dull that he can look right through his wife without seeing her. -- Helen Rowland

Marrying a man is like buying something you've been admiring for a long time in a shop window. You may love it when you get it home, but it doesn't always go with everything else in the house. -- Jean Kerr

People marry through a variety of other reasons, and with varying results; but to marry for love is to invite inevitable tragedy. -- James Cabell

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards. -- Benjamin Franklin

Marriage is for women the commonest mode of livelihood, and the total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. -- Bertrand Russell

It takes two to make a marriage a success and only one to make ita failure. -- Herbert Samuel

Men are all right for friends, but as soon as you marry them they turn into cranky old fathers, even the wild ones. They begin to tell you what’s sensible and what’s foolish, and want you to stick at home all the time. I prefer to be foolish when I feel like it, and be accountable to nobody. -- Willa Cather

Yes, marriage is hateful, detestable. A kind of ineffable, sickening disgust seizes my mind when I think of this most despotic, most unrequited fetter which prejudice has forged to confine its energies. -- Percy Bysshe Shelley

Garth, marriage is punishment for shoplifting in some countries. -- "Wayne" (in Wayne's World)

The marriage didn’t work out but the separation is great. -- Liz Smith

Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage. -- William Shakespeare

From Jodie: If kisses were all the joy in bed, one woman would another wed. -- Unknown

From Kat L: They say love is blind. When you get married, you open your eyes and realise you're living with a pig...all they do is eat, sleep and grunt. -- Kat L.

From Angel: A bride and a groom at the altar have only one thing in common: they both love him the most. -- Unknown

From Jennifer F: The trouble with some women is that they get all excited about nothing - and then marry him! -- Cher

From Jennifer F: An archaeologist is the best husband a women can have. The older she gets, the more interested he is in her. -- Agatha Christie

From AnneArkay: I'd rather have a close friend who lives close by. -- Katherine Hepburn

From Rivka: I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career. -- Gloria Steinem

From Rivka: I never married, because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog that growls every morning, a parrot that swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late every night. -- Marie Corelli

From Miss Independant: People ask me why I don't want to get married and I simply respond ' What's in it for me?

From Nlm, CA: The old theory was, Marry an older man, because they're more mature. But the new theory is, Men don't mature. Marry a younger one. - Rita Rudner

From Theresa, MA: We always seemed to be getting, with the best of motives, in one another's way. When I wanted to go upstairs, there was my wife coming down; or when my wife wanted to go down, there was I coming up. That is married life, according to my experience of it. - The Moonstone by Wilkie Collins

From Rachel Garcia, TX: Why do men care so much before marriage but never give a fuck after?

From Kristi & Amanda, TX: Lose 180 pounds...Divorce your spouse!



On Sex

I know nothing about sex because I was always married. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor

There is nothing safe about sex. There never will be. -- Norman Mailer

Friendship is love minus sex and plus reason. Love is friendship plus sex and minus reason. -- Mason Cooley

I’ve tried several varieties of sex. The conventional position makes me claustrophobic and the others give me a stiff neck or lockjaw. -- Talullah Bankhead

Sex is more exciting on the screen and between the pages than between the sheets. -- Andy Warhol

In homosexual sex you know exactly what the other person is feeling, so you are identifying with the other person completely. In heterosexual sex you have no idea what the other person is feeling. -- William Burroughs

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. -- Joan Rivers

I can remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty. -- George Burns

The act of sex, gratifying as it may be, is God’s joke on humanity. It is man’s last desperate stand at superintendency. -- Bette Davis

Sexual fidelity is more important in a homosexual relationship than in any other. In other relationships there are a variety of ties. But here, fidelity is the only bond. -- W.H. Auden

From Miranda Lee: If you can't be with the one you love, just fuck the man you're with. -- Unknown

From Rhonda: Men who say a woman's vagina is "loose" is really just feeling his own insecurities about the girth and proportion of his own manhood -- Rhonda

From Jen S: Why would a guy want two girls if he can't satisfy the first one? -- Jen S.

From Jen S: Women can get better results from a water fountain than you. -- Jen S.

From Saharyakhi: Since when did having a penis mean ‘All access pass into my pussy? -- Saharyakhi

From Saharyakhi: Just because I’m not a virgin doesn’t mean we're fucking!! As a matter of fact, because I am not a virgin is the reason we will not be fucking, I found out it's all a myth!! -- Saharyakhi

From Little Bear, Canada: Pregnacy. I hear it's amazing. To me, the biggest difference between men and women is the ability to give birth and have another live inside of you. That's a pretty far-out thing. So I would like to know what it would be like to be pregnant. Maybe during the third trimester--why not? Make it toward the end when I'm having a hard time walking, you know, and let me see what the real deal is! -- Jason Biggs

From Brenda, GA: The only way that you'll ever get any of 'this pussy', is to lick it from the shaft of another man!

From Becky, PA: Why is that a guy can have sex with everything that crosses their path and it's ok, but if a girl does that she is considered a slut?

From Valerie Martin, AZ: If you go to bed with dogs, the only thing you end up with is flees.

From Calichika: All the guys say, 'Suck it.' and we should say, 'Sorry, we choke on small objects.'

From Shany mc: Just a note ladies. Who came up with the term 'Love Handles' anyway? A man no doubt. It's not like saddlebags were ever called 'Honey Handles'. I submit to you all a new term; "Bitch Clutch" for all the fat men out there who think they deserve love.

From Erin, FL: Women may fake orgasms but men fake entire relationships. -- Unknown

From Jess, NE: Anchorotize: Staying celibate to conserve your sexual energy. I'm not a loser, I'm anchorotizing. - Anita Liberty in"How to Heal the Hurt by Hating."



On Lying & Cheating

Lord, Lord, how subject we men are to this vice of lying! -- William Shakespeare

She represents the unavowed aspiration of the male human being, his potential infidelity—and infidelity of a very special kind, which would lead him to the opposite of his wife, to the “woman of wax” whom he could model at will, make and unmake in any way he wished, even unto death. --Marguerite Dumas

He who commits adultery has no sense; he who does it destroys himself. He will get wounds and dishonor, and his disgrace will not be wiped away. -- The Bible

From Mintt, VI: Love 'em, trust 'em, and when you catch 'em in the act, fuck 'em.



On Divorce and Breaking Up

Better a tooth out than always aching. -- Thomas Fuller

What a lovely surprise to finally discover how unlonely being alone can be. -- Ellen Burstyn

When another girl steals your guy, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him. -- Unknown

What I'm doing in this car flying down these screaming highways is getting my tail to Juarez so I can legally rid myself of the crummy son-of-a-bitch who promised me a tomorrow like a yummy fruitcake and delivered instead wilted lettuce, rotted cucumber, and a garbage of a life. -- Anne Richardson Rolphe

Life is like an onion. You peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep. -- Carl Sandberg

Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet. -- Robin Williams

Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin! -- "Carolyn" (in American Beauty)

I guess the only way to stop divorce is to stop marriage. -- Will Rogers

Divorce is the psychological equivalent of a triple coronary bypass. -- Mary Kay Blakely

A divorce is like an amputation; you survive, but there’s less of you. -- Margaret Atwood

People are reluctant to cite boredom as grounds for divorce. -- Mason Cooley

From Casey H: Why does a divorce cost so much? Because its worth it! -- Unknown

From Michelle: All I have to do is remind myself of the mercy, understanding, patience, effort, support, appreciation, and love you failed to give. This will give me the strength and knowledge to move on away from you and live again. NEVER SETTLE. -- Michelle

From Tameheart1: Ex-lovers and spouses can't deal with a woman having a real man for a best friend. -- Tameheart1

From Rivka: Laugh and the world laughs with you. > Cry and you cry with your girlfriends. -- Laurie Kuslansky

From Rivka: I am a marvellous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. -- Zsa Zsa Gabor