This and that

[red_snapper]

Subject: I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E.,


> Some friends were sitting at the bar talking about their professions.
> The first guy says "I'm a Y.U.P.P.I.E., you know... Young,
> Urban, Professional, Peaceful, Intelligent, Ecologist"
>
> The second guy says "I'm a D.I.N.K., you know... Double Income,
> No Kids."
>
> The third guy says, "I'm a R.U.B., you know...Rich, Urban, Biker."
>
> They turn to the woman and ask her, "What are you?'"
> She replies: "I'm a W.I.F.E., you know... Wash, Iron, Fetch, Etc."
>
> A second gal answers their question before they even ask it,
> "B.I.T.C.H." What exactly is a BITCH?!? they ask in unison.
> "Babe In Total Control of Herself."
>
> So ladies, next time somebody calls you a "Bitch" SMILE ... and
say
"Thank You!!"


A Newfie is out on the Bay with his row boat when suddenly a
> > passing speed boat raises huge waves and the man's two oars fall
> > overboard, and he is stranded way out in the bay with no means of
> > getting back to shore.
> >
> > After about two hours adrift, he spots a boat coming his way with a
> > man and two women aboard.
> >
> > The Newfie yells out! "Hey Buddy.....can I borrow one of your oars?"The
man yells back "Dey aint Whoars, you ignorant bastard.....Dat's
> > me Mudder and me Sister!"
> >




A guy was fixing a door and he found that he needed a new hinge, so he
> > sent his wife to the hardware store.
> >
> > At the hardware store, while she was waiting for the manager to finish
> > waiting on another customer, she saw a beautiful teapot on a top shelf.
> > When it was her turn, she asked the price of the teapot.
> >
> > He replied, "That's silver and it costs $100."
> >
> > "My goodness, that sure is a lotta money", she exclaimed. Then she
> > proceeded to describe the hinge that her husband had sent her to buy.
> >
> > The manager went to the backroom to find it. From the backroom he
> yelled,
> > "Do you wanna screw for that hinge?"
> >
> > To which she replied, "No, but I will for the teapot."
> >