Sex From Around The World

[CHRISK]

Worldwide sex !!!


So much sex.....So little time!

Good news for job applicants with no experience. The German government is making it mandatory for one out of every 15 new employees, in a particular specialized service industry, must be an apprentice. If not followed their business license will be suspended.

This came about when a Ms. Gertrude Benton was turned down for employment at a legalized brothel in Berlin because she lacked experience.

In court, the 19 year old produced 172 witnesses: 123 males, 48 women, and a German Shepherd. The 171 humans attested to her virility in bed but the court did not accept her testimony of a liaison with Fritzy (The Dog).

The Judge ruled in her favor, forcing the education minister to give a tax exemption for each trainee hired in this vocation. In order to receive this income deduction, the brothel must grade their new hire. Their performance is either: exceptional, good, marginal, incompetent, or "Gefahrlich Hodens" (dangerous to the testicles).

The entire sex industry is undergoing dramatic changes throughout the world with California leading the way. Workers in the porn industry have formed a union to lobby for better pay, health care and a pension.

The new membership, with a hands on approach, personally convinced legislators of the worthiness of their goals. Many of these elected officials are now championing their cause. They have even renamed their members as "Horizontal Bed Technicians".

Guatemalan fornication laborers went in another direction to dramatize their exploitation. Under the guidance of a local filmmaker they challenged a prominent socially elite school for wealthy young ladies to a soccer game. The match became a national sensation with the film exposing the intolerable working conditions of these working women.

The contest had the largest viewing audience in its' TV history but it did encounter a few problems. Within two minutes of opening play the Prostitute's team the "Alpinistas" (Mountaineers) were fined and removed from the field.

They were finally allowed back only after they put on underwear. Although they lost 8-3 they did recruit new workers: three from the opposing team and 16 from the viewing stands.

The Mideast is also undergoing a transformation. Over 2,000 Madams held a demonstration in Seoul protesting the crackdown by police on the sex trade. Although they shielded their identity by wearing hats, many wore t-shirts displaying their phone number with the inscription "Hey Joe, I make you smile".

China, with its' booming foreign business and tourism, is making it mandatory for their sex workers to also perform community volunteer service. The government feels this will show the world the caring and giving nature of all its' citizens.

Unfortunately this has backfired. More than one of these "Caregivers" has been caught by Hospital Staff relieving the inner stress of male patients by performing, "Mouth To.....well.....(not exactly mouth).....Resuscitation. They were also billing their chimjo's (Johns) for this physical therapy..

People are becoming more brazen as to where they are having sex.

A couple was arrested for having intercourse at the Alamo. The man gave his name as Davy Crotch-it and the female demanded to be called.................

.....Pokemyhonchas. They were charged with desecrating a national monument but insisted they were performing an historical reenactment of events at the fort. (They obviously didn't know their history).

A Swiss duo was arrested for committing obscene acts in the bathroom of a restaurant in Italy. The case was dismissed after the owner admitted he walked into the lavatory without first knocking. (How Rude!!).

Then there's the German who after drinking about fifty gazillion gallons of beer decided to stop at a peep show on the way home. He was so inebriated that he fell into a deep sleep.

The owner not realizing he still had one customer, locked up and went home. Our power drinker woke up and in his best effort tried to stand. He fell on the counter setting off an alarm. When the police arrived he was laying on the floor with his pants around his ankles and his "Wiener Schnitzel" at full mast.

There's always one that wins the award for most strange.

"It's lonely in Idaho" was the response of a twenty-one-year-old man arrested for breaking, entering and robbery. It seems our award winner was caught in the laundry room of a local women's college wearing stolen female underwear on his bottom and a pair on his head. When asked why he just didn't invite one of the students on a date he said he was too shy.

There's also headline news about the accessories for personal enjoyment. The international airport in Sydney was recently evacuated and the bomb squad called after a humming noise was heard coming from a garbage bin near the front entrance. After gently removing it from a bag it turned out to be a "King Kangaroo Vibrator" discarded by a tourist who decided she didn't want customs to find her "Joy Stick".

Even the local church had problems with adult toys. One Parish ran a Sunday flea market to raise money for their community bible class. It was an incredible success making nearly four times more than the year before. Upon close examination it was discovered that two items brought in ninety percent of the money. They were a vibrating sponge and an insertable rubber duck (Insertable???)

Before the minister was alerted to this fact he told the local reporter, "When you help others you will feel personally satisfied".

Unfortunately, even today sexual preference can cause unexpected problems.

Two heterosexual couples were refused entrance into a gay motel in Greenwich Village. Mr. Jamenson the Manager, donning a plaid skirt, white ruffled blouse, and brown pumps was quoted saying, "We don't want your kind in our establishment".

He was found guilty of discrimination and fined $700. He told the judge he would try to be more tolerant in the future.

A most unique breaking story of sex, alcohol and romance is coming from a remote region in Cambodia.

It appears that two Buddhist monks abandoned their vows to live with twin sisters who were selling beer and Beef Jerky (A local Favorite) across from their monastery. One of the Monks later commented, "Although I liked mediating and kneeling eleven hour a day it can't compare to Toga parties, naked women and Beer Chugging contests".

The head cleric later stated, "I believe once they realize what they are giving up they will return".(Wanna Bet!!!)