Thursday lols

[14inches]

One Liners and Q & A



"If an animal does something, we call it instinct; if we do the same thing for the same reason, we call it intelligence."



Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another.



Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight.



There is no difference between a wise man and a fool when they fall in love.



Don't do it if you can't keep it up.



If the effort that went in research on the female bosom had gone into our space program, we would now be running hot-dog stand on the moon.



Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.



Q: What's the difference between a blonde and an ironing board?

A: It's difficult to open the legs of an ironing board







The highly religious young man entered his wedding chamber and was

shocked to find his new young bride awaiting him, spread-eagle and naked

on their bed.



"My dear!" he exclaimed, "I expected to find you beside our bed and on

your knees!"



"OK," she said, obediently changing positions, "but I always get the

hiccups when I screw in that position."





One day at lunch several guys were engaged in a little friendly bragging

about their sexual prowess and the dimensions of their members.



First one, then the next would add his own exaggerations until the whole

thing became quite ridiculous.



Then Bill said matter of fact "mine's about four inches."



There was stunned silence before one of the guys said, "Bill, you're

kidding right?"



"Not at all, four inches." He said, with perfect sincerity.

"You know,some women like it."



We all sat in embarrassed silence until Bill continued,

"Of course,others complain it's just too wide."

============ ========= ========= =

A guy walks into a whorehouse and tells one of the girls he wants a

blowjob. The girl takes him to a room and proceeds suck him off

without a condom. While she does so, the guy sees a half full bucket

of sperm beside the bed.



He disregards the strange site as he enjoys the best blowjob of his

life. A second later, he shoots long lines of semen into her mouth.

She takes every drop, but instead of swallowing, she spits the cum

into that damned bucket.



The guy wonders aloud, "Don't like swallowing spuzz, huh?"



She wipes her mouth and replies, "Another girl and I have a bet.

Whoever fills up a bucket first gets to drink both buckets."

============ ====

girl came home from a date. Her mother had waited up for her, and when the girl walked in the door, the mother noticed she had rice in her hair.



"Sally," she said, "you didn't tell me you were going to a wedding."



"I didn't mom," Sally replied. "I was giving a blowjob to a Chinese guy and he threw up on me."

============ ========= ======

Good Girls; Bad Girl's And Naughty Girls





Good girls loosen a few buttons when its hot

Bad girls make it hot by loosening a few buttons

Naughty girls unbutton your pants



Good girls wax their floors

Bad girls wax their bikini line

Naughty girls wax your nutsack



Good girls blush during sex scenes in movies

Bad girls know they could do it better

Naughty girls do it with whips and chains



Good girls wear white cotton panties

Bad girls don't wear any

Naughty girls don't really give a shit



Good girls think they're not fully dressed without a strand of pearls

Bad girls think they're fully dressed with just a strand of pearls

Naughty girls want a "pearl necklace "



Good girls pack their toothbrush

Bad girls pack their diaphragms

Naughty girls pack their dildos



Good girls own only one credit card and rarely use it

Bad girls own only one bra and rarely use it

Naughty girls own the entire Fantasia collection



Good girls wear high heels to work

Bad girls wear high heels to bed

Naughty girls make you wear high heels



Good girls think the office is the wrong place to have a romance

Bad girls think no place is the wrong place

Naughty girls have sex all over the place



Good girls prefer the missionary position

Bad girls do too, but only for starters

Naughty girls add some new chapters in the Kama Sutra



Good girls say no

Bad girls say when?

Naughty girls don't say anything, they just moan and scream a lot.



Good girls go to the party, go home, then go to bed.

Bad girls go to the party, go to bed and then go home.

Naughty girls go to the party, hit on every guy there and then go home with two of them.


AOL~~ Assholes On Line

ASAP~~ As Soon As Possible

ASAFP~~ As Soon As Friggin Possible

AWGTHTGTTA~~ Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Again

AWGTHTGTTSA~ ~ Are We Going To Have To Go Through This Shit Again

BFD~~ Big Fucking Deal

BMD~~ Buy Me Dildo

BTSOOM~~ Beats The Shit Out Of Me

BT~~ Byte This!

BTWBO~~ Be There With Bells On

CMF~~ Count My Fingers!

CTC~~ Choking The Chicken

DBEYR~~ Don't Believe Everything You Read

DHYB~~ Don't Hold Your Breath

DILDO~~ Darlin' I'll Lick De Ole

DILLIGAD~~ Do I Look Like I Give A Damn

DQYDJ~~ Don't Quit You're Day Job

DYSTSOTT~~ Did You See The Size Of That Thing

FTASB~~ Faster Than A Speeding Bullet

FUBAR~~ Fucked Up Beyond All Repair

FUBB~~ Fucked Up Beyond Belief

FYI~~ For Your Information

FYM~~ For Your Misinformation

GR&D~~ Grinning Running & Ducking

HAK~~ Hugs And Kisses

HUYA~~ Head Up Your A$$

HHOK~~ Ha Ha, Only Kidding

HHO1/2K~~ Ha Ha, Only Half Kidding

HIOOC~~ Help! I'm Out Of Coffee!

IANAC~~ I Am Not A Crook

IFABCTE~~ I Found A Bug, Call The Exterminator

IITYWTMWYKM~ ~ If I Tell You What This Means Will You Kiss Me

IITYWTMWYBMAD~ ~ If I Tell You What This Means Will You Buy Me A Drink

IITYWTMWYLMA~ ~ If I Tell You What This Means Will You Leave Me Alone

IIWM~~ If It Were Me

ILSHIBAMF~~ I Laughed So Hard I Broke All My Furniture

ILSHIBMS~~ I Laughed So Hard I Broke My Stitches

IMHO~~ In My Humble Opinion

IMNSHO~~ In My Not So Humble Opinion

KISS~~ Keep It Simple Stupid

LDTTWA~~ Let's Do The Time Warp Again

LOL~~ Laughing Out Loud

LSHHTCMS~~ Laughed So Hard, Had To Change My Shorts

LTIP~~ Laughing Till I Puke

MTFBWY~~ May The Force Be With You

NBFD~~ No Big Fucking Deal

NFW~~ No Fucking Way

NYCFS~~ New York City Finger Salute

OMIK~~ Open Mouth, Insert Keyboard

ONNA~~ Oh No, Not Again

ONNTA~~ Oh No Not This Again

OTOH~~ On The Other Hand

OTOOH~~ On The Other Other Hand

OTSH~~ On The Same Hand

PITA~~ Pain In The A$$

PMF~~ Pull My Finger

RTFM~~ Read The Fucking Manual (or Message)

SH~~ Shit Happens

SH2M~~ Shit Happens To Me

SOI~~ Sit On It

SOL~~ Shit Outta Luck

TAFL~~ Take A Flying Leap

TDTM~~ Talk Dirty To Me

TFASB~~ Time For A Sex Break

TIC~~ Tongue In Cheek

TISEC~~ Tongue In Someone Else's Cheek

TLA~~ Three Letter Acronym (such as this)

TM~~ Trust Me

TSR~~ Totally Stuck in RAM

TTT~~ That's The Ticket

TWHAB~~ This Won't Hurt A Bit

VI~~ Village Idiot

WDIPME~~ Where Did I Put My Excedrin

WGAFS ~~Who Gives A Flying Squat

WTHDTIM~~ What The Hell Do These Initials Mean

WTSDS~~ Where The Sun Don't Shine

WWW~~ World Wide Wait

WYSIWYG~~ What You See Is What You Get

WYSIUWYW~~ What You See Isn't Usually What You Want

YGBFK~~ You Gotta Be Fucking Kiddin'