RexMag's Naughty Files Adult Discussion Board Rex is in the House

Board Photos Radio and TV Match Maker Reputations Points
Go Back   RexMag's Naughty Files Adult Discussion Board > Adult Humor > Jokes & Humor
Register Arcade Blogs FAQTop Posters Calendar Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 03-25-2009, 10:38 AM
manictaz's Avatar
Valuable Member
Points: 312,242, Level: 100 Points: 312,242, Level: 100 Points: 312,242, Level: 100
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: west mids, uk
Posts: 69,830
My Mood: Tired
Thanks: 59
Thanked 78 Times in 34 Posts
manictaz has a reputation beyond reputemanictaz has a reputation beyond reputemanictaz has a reputation beyond reputemanictaz has a reputation beyond reputemanictaz has a reputation beyond reputemanictaz has a reputation beyond reputemanictaz has a reputation beyond reputemanictaz has a reputation beyond reputemanictaz has a reputation beyond reputemanictaz has a reputation beyond reputemanictaz has a reputation beyond repute
New Rules

New Rule:
There's no such thing as flavored water. There's a whole aisle of this crap at the supermarket, water, but without that watery taste. Sorry, but flavored water is called a soft drink. You want flavored water? Pour some Jack Daniels over ice and let it melt. That's your flavored water.

New Rule:
The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the asshole. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra dry, light ice, with one Sweet-n'-Low and one NutraSweet," oh, you're a huge asshole.

New Rule and this one is long overdue:
No more bathroom attendants. After I zip up, some guy is offering me a towel and a mint like I just had sex with George Michael. I can't even tell if he's supposed to be there, or just some freak with a fetish. I don't want to be on your web cam, dude. I just want to wash my hands.

New Rule:
Stop sending me that pop-up ad for Classmates.com! There's a reason you don't talk to people for 25 years. Because you don't particularly like them! Besides, I already know what the captain of the football team is doing these days: mowing my lawn.

New Rule:
Don't eat anything that's served to you out a window unless you're a seagull. People are acting all shocked that a human finger was found in a bowl of Wendy's chilli. Hey, it cost less than a dollar. What did you expect it to contain? Trout? Luckily, it was only a finger! If it was a whole hand, Congress would have voted to keep it alive.

New Rule:
Just because your tattoo has Chinese characters in it doesn't make you spiritual. It's right above the crack of your ass. And it translates to "beef with broccoli." The last time you did anything spiritual, you were praying to God you weren't pregnant. You're not spiritual. You're just high.

New Rule:
Competitive eating isn't a sport. It's one of the seven deadly sins. ESPN recently televised the US Open of Competitive Eating, because watching those athletes at the poker table was just too damned exciting. What's next, competitive farting? Oh wait. They're already doing that. It's called "The Howard Stern Show."
__________________








Reply With Quote
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to manictaz For This Useful Post:
pandora (03-25-2009), vetteindreams (03-26-2009)
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Truth or Dare? thirdchild Intimate Discussion 3603 10-22-2009 07:57 PM
3Some Rules For Him scotgirl Let's Talk About Sex 2 03-15-2009 03:08 PM
The Rules Are...... scotgirl Jokes & Humor 2 07-31-2007 08:37 PM
Rules For Men BIGGfuzzyone Jokes & Humor 0 12-01-2006 11:46 AM
Guy's Rules homeylovesya Jokes & Humor 0 09-22-2006 04:19 PM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:47 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 2002 - 2010 BN Media, LLC