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Old 03-08-2009, 03:43 PM
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Adult 19 naughty limericks


Limericks

This story you might think is odder
I dated the famed farmer's daughter
But couldn't a tractor
For I'd failed to factor
She longed for a man like her fodder.

(Gary Hallock)

~~~~~

Hey look; it's the orifice girls
Wearing naught but a grin and some pearls.
They go about whorin'
So don't put your oar in,
You don't know what's under their curls

~~~~~

A young exhibitionist Kay,
Having tossing all her panties away,
Has invited us lads
(Via newspaper ads)
To a pubic performance today.

~~~~~

Science was a breath of fresh air
Within my whole High School career
The only school class
Where you could smell gas
That wasn't from your classmate's rear.

~~~~~

A notorious hooker named Shore
Would allow horny sailors to score,
But employed every means
Of avoiding Marines-
She was rotten, they claimed, to the Corps.

~~~~~

There was this young fellow from Yale,
Whose face was exceedingly pale.
He spent his vacation,
In self-masturbation,
Because of the high price of tail.

~~~~~

A publisher went off to France
In search of a tale of romance.
A Parisian lady
Told a story so shady,
The publisher made an advance.

~~~~~

We know cunnilingus is grand,
But what I cannot understand,
Who was the first guy,
To give it a try...?
I think we should give him a hand!

~~~~~

Tim Had Traveled To Peru
In Search Of The Ultimate Screw.
When His Trip Was Complete,
He Zipped Up His Meat
And Said To The Ladies, ''Thank You!''

~~~~~

This beautiful harlot from Lubies,
Won fame for possessing two rubies.
It's not big red stones,
That makes her so known,
It's the nipples on mountainous boobies!

~~~~~

"I'm sick of Tchaikovsky" , said May,
"And this Handel and Bach that we play."
So she put down her fiddle,
And diddled her middle;
"It's time for Depussy I say."

~~~~~

The ski resort owner's big chill
Is finding his profit is nil.
The end is quite near.
It surely is clear
That business is going downhill.
(Kirk Miller)

~~~~~

There was a young nudist from Denver
Who had an unusual member;
It was stiff as Jello
When the weather was mellow.
But a popsicle every December!

~~~~~

There once was a girl they called Trish
Who was quite a delectable dish
Men savored her lips
Then brought bags of chips
For her pussy smelt strongly of fish

~~~~~

There was an old man called Reg
Who decided to trim his hedge
He'd had a few beers
Slipped with his shears
And cut off his meat and two veg

~~~~~

There was a man named McFeeney
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
Not being uncouth
He added vermouth
And slipped his girl a martini.

~~~~~

There once was a young man named Gene
Who invented a screwing machine.
Concave and convex
It served either sex
And it played with itself in between.

~~~~~

There was a young lady named Nelly,
Whose tits would jiggle like jelly.
They could tickle her twat,
Or be tied in a knot,
And could even swat flies on her belly!

~~~~~

With his pecker stretched limp on the floor
And his wife still imploring for more
He said, "Ten hours of screwing
Have been my undoing
I simply can't fuck anymore!"
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