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Old 03-08-2009, 06:26 AM
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Marks and Spencer are in financial trouble. They have merged with Pound Stretcher and will now be known as Stretch Marks!


> Felt a bit fed up today so to cheer myself up I watched my wedding video
> backwards. I love the end bit where I take the ring off, go back down
> the aisle, jump in the car and p*** off



> Had my first gig as a stand up comedian at an old people's home last
> night. They didn't get my jokes, but they still wet themselves!



> /A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces
> attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For
> example, when she is ovulating, she will prefer a man with rugged
> masculine features. But when she is menstrual, she prefers a man doused
> in petrol, set on fire with a potato peeler shoved up his bum ..../
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