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Old 03-05-2009, 12:07 PM
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Calling "shotgun"

If there are to be two or more passengers when traveling by automobile, one must call out "shotgun" in order to secure for him/herself the right-front passenger seat. This seat is obviously the most desirable. It offers such advantages as:
* more leg room
* own personal vanity mirror
* ease of egress and ingress
* social prestige
* panoramic view
* air-bag safety feature
* better aim for throwing beer bottles at stop signs
* rapid exit in case of beer-retainment reversal

Historically, the shotgun position originated during the days of the horse-drawn wagon. Since the driver had to handle the reins, another person with a shotgun was needed next to him/her to fend off attacks from bandits, outlaws, and galloping Amway salesmen.

The Rules

1. Even if the other passenger is your grandmother with a broken leg, if she does not call "shotgun" first, her butt is going into the back seat.

2. If two people call "shotgun" at the same time, a fistfight will determine the ultimate winner, unless the contestants are girls. In that case, the trip is put off while the men get to watch them fight. A "pout-off" can be held instead.

3. If the trip is interrupted for over 4 minutes (for fuel or potty stops, etc.), the "shotgun" passenger loses all of his/her rights, and open season on the coveted position begins again.

4. A "shotgun" winner must expect and be willing to put up with a large portion of physical harassment from the backseat "shotgun"
loser. Scratching, hair pulling, and attempts at strangulation are all fully legal and come with the territory.

5. Pre-"shotgun" calling is strictly prohibited and punishable by worse that what you get for pulling the tag off a mattress.

6. A "shotgun" call from a 265-pound linebacker automatically cancels out a "shotgun" call from anybody else.
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Old 03-05-2009, 08:13 PM
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i found the shotgun call most boring in my uni days, and whoever wanted shotgun in my car had to call out "Syphilis" as loud as they could.
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Old 03-05-2009, 08:18 PM
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the 'shotgun' call from the linebacker supersedes all others EXCEPT for the guy who actually has a shotgun.
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