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Old 02-16-2009, 04:25 PM
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Adult 16 XXX Adult Limerick Jokes

Limericks

Said Mary, "I do beg your pardon,
But I once had a tree in my garden,
With a trunk long and thick,
But I have to admit,
'Twas nothing, compared to Randy's hard'un..."

~~~~~

In marriage there's often a glitch,
When you find out you married a bitch,
She once was quite nice,
All sugar and spice,
Now she's an evil old witch

~~~~~

The was an old woman from Kent
Who went to a football event
She sat near the goal
And opened her hole
One guess as to where the ball went?

~~~~~

The spouse of a pretty young thing
Came home from the wars in the spring.
He was lame but he came
With his dame like a flame--
A discharge is a wonderful thing.

~~~~~

A sweet 'tater said, "Oh, yes ma'am,
I'm sentient, and don't give a damn.
You may think that it's jive;
But it's not; I'm alive!
I think, and so I yam."

~~~~~

A Salvation lassie named Claire
Was having her first love affair.
As she climbed into bed
She reverently said,
"I wish to be opened with prayer."

~~~~~

Young Alice is known for her poise
During quiet foreplay with the boys.
But then when she has 'em
At the brink of orgasm,
You can't hear yourself think for the noise.

~~~~~

In the check out at the food store
A nun was advising the poor:
"Hey you up in front!
That's too many items ,you cunt!
And no food stamps for beer ya dumb whore."

~~~~~

There was an old Scotsman of Fife
Who had left, in the course of his life,
Scores of well-rounded ends
Of the wives of his friends
And likewise of friends of his wife.

~~~~~

An arrogant wench from Salt Lake
Liked to tease all the boys on the make.
She was finally the prize
Of a man twice her size
And all she recalls is the ache.

~~~~~

An agreeable girl named Miss Doves
Likes to jack off the young men she loves
She will use her bare fist
If the fellows insist
But she really prefers to wear gloves

~~~~~

With his pecker limp on the floor,
And his wife still implorying for more --
"Ten hours of screwing
Has been my undoing;
I simply can't Fuck any more!"

~~~~~

While Greeley was fucking Miss Klutz,
She said as he plunged in his putz,
"Do you love me dear Greeley?"
He answered, "Not really,
I just wanted to blow off my nuts"

~~~~~

In the kitchen he wanted to boff her.
Satisfaction he tried to proffer.
She replied, "I am sold,
But the floor is too cold."
So he made her a counter-offer.

~~~~~

A methodical fellow named Wade,
Could recall every girl that he'd laid.
He recorded each poke,
Every thrust, every stroke,
And precisely how much he'd been paid.

~~~~~

Priscilla, her breasts bouncing gaily,
Liked to screw with a friendly Israeli.
Just the thought of his schmuck
Got her ready to fuck,
Which they did six or seven times daily.
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