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Old 02-08-2009, 05:04 AM
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Top 8 Morons Of 2008



1.. WILL THE REAL DUMMY PLEASE STAND UP?
AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months, saying he lacked
intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance package.
Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.



2. WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS.
Police in Oakland, CA , spent two hours attempting to subdue a gunman
who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten tear gas
canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing beside them
in the police line, shouting, 'Please come out and give yourself up.'


3. WHAT WAS PLAN B???
An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines, wherein
the kidnapper proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank accounts.
(You know it wasn't their governor--- 'his own bank accounts'.)



4. THE GETAWAY!
A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Stop and asked for all the
money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small, so he tied
up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours until
police showed up and grabbed him.



5. DID I SAY THAT???
Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each
man in the lineup to repeat the words: 'Give me all your money or I'll shoot',
the man shouted, 'that's not what I said!'



6. ARE WE COMMUNICATING???
A man spoke frantically into the phone: 'My wife is pregnant and her
contractions are only two minutes apart'. 'Is this her first child?' the
doctor asked. 'No!' the man shouted, 'This is her husband!'

7. NOT THE SHARPEST TOOL IN THE SHED!
In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
up a Bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb
and a finger to simulate a gun. Unfortunately, he failed to keep his
hand in his pocket. (hellooooooo)!

8. THE GRAND FINALE!!!
Last summer, down on Lake Isabella, located in the high desert, an
hour east of Bakersfield, CA , some folks, new to boating, were having
a problem. No matter how hard they tried, they couldn't get their brand
new 22 foot boat, going. It was very sluggish in almost every maneuver,
no matter how much power they applied. After about an hour of trying to
make it go, they putted into a nearby marina, thinking someone there may
be able to tell them what was wrong. A thorough topside check revealed
everything in perfect working condition The engine ran fine, the out-drive
went up and down, and the propeller was the correct size and pitch. So,
one of the marina guys jumped in the water to check underneath.
He came up choking on water, he was laughing so hard.
NOW REMEMBER...THIS IS TRUE.
Under the boat, still strapped securely in place,
was the trailer!
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