RexMag's Naughty Files Adult Discussion Board Rex is in the House

Board Photos Radio and TV Match Maker Reputations Points
Go Back   RexMag's Naughty Files Adult Discussion Board > Adult Humor > Jokes & Humor
Register Arcade Blogs FAQTop Posters Calendar Mark Forums Read


Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 02-06-2009, 08:21 PM
Texas_Bugman's Avatar
this space is for rent
Points: 95,794, Level: 75 Points: 95,794, Level: 75 Points: 95,794, Level: 75
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 14,443
Thanks: 3,887
Thanked 13,387 Times in 4,497 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Texas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond repute
Texas Pride

Bigger in Texas As everyone knows, everything is bigger in Texas.

The roads are bigger, the trees are bigger,

and the wide open spaces are, well, wider.

Texans wear the biggest hats, the biggest boots, and drive the biggest cars.

One day, a Texan died and went to heaven.

He was met at the pearly gates by none other than St. Peter, who proceeded to give him a tour of the wonders of heaven.

The Texan, however, was not impressed.

St. Peter showed him the most beautiful rivers, and the Texan said that they were bigger in Texas.

St. Peter revealed to him the majesty of mountains, but the Texan reminded him that they were just as good, if not better, back in Texas.

St. Peter showed him the glory of the stars (they shine brighter in Texas), the enormity of the sunrise (you haven't seen it until you've seen it in Texas), and the simple wonder of a doe and a fawn drinking at a lake at sunset (reminiscent of Lake Texarkana, only not as pretty).

There was nothing St. Peter could do to overcome the man's opinion of his home state. Finally, St. Peter took the Texan right out to the edge of heaven, and they both looked down.

From there one could see all the way down into Hell.

They could see the fire and the brimstone and the agony ad infinitum. It was a horrific sight.

St. Peter then said, "Well? What do you think about that? Have anything like THAT down in Texas?"

The Texan replied, "No sir, we don't -- but I know a couple old boys down in Houston who will put that out for ya."
__________________
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 02-06-2009, 08:23 PM
Texas_Bugman's Avatar
this space is for rent
Points: 95,794, Level: 75 Points: 95,794, Level: 75 Points: 95,794, Level: 75
Activity: 0% Activity: 0% Activity: 0%
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 14,443
Thanks: 3,887
Thanked 13,387 Times in 4,497 Posts
Blog Entries: 1
Texas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond reputeTexas_Bugman has a reputation beyond repute
Gabriel came to the Lord and said " I have to talk to you. We have some

Texans up here in Heaven who are causing problems. They're swinging on

the pearly gates, my horn is missing, barbecue sauce is all over their

robes, their dogs are riding in the chariots, and they're wearing

baseball caps and cowboy hats instead of their halos. They refuse to

keep the stairway to Heaven clean. There are watermelon seeds and pig

feet bones all over the place. Some of them are walking around with just one wing."

The Lord said, "I made them special, Gabriel. Heaven is Home to all my

children. If you really want to know about real problems, let's call the Devil."

The Devil answered the phone, " Hello? Damn, hold on a minute."

The Devil returned to the phone, "O.K., I'm back. What can I do for you?"

The Lord replied, "I just want to know what kind of problems you're having down there."

The Devil said, "Hold on again. I need to check on something."

After about 5 minutes the Devil returned to the phone and said, "I'm

back. Now what was the question?"

The Lord said, "What kind of problems are you having down there?"

The Devil said, "Man, I don't believe this....Hold on, Lord."

This time the Devil was gone 15 minutes. The Devil returned and said ,

"I'm sorry Lord, I can't talk right now. Them damn Texans done put out

the fire and are trying to install air conditioning."
__________________
Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Everything Is Big In Texas Texas_Bugman Jokes & Humor 0 07-28-2009 05:57 PM
what is Texas Texas_Bugman Writers Block 4 03-13-2009 02:00 PM
The Texas Cowboy chockaholick2xs Writers Block 1 02-02-2009 11:10 PM
The Eyes of Texas Tak Community Chat 2 12-13-2008 03:58 PM
Texas Perpective abnormal Community Chat 2 02-10-2007 10:02 AM


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 11:41 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
© 2002 - 2010 BN Media, LLC