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Old 02-02-2009, 10:38 AM
coot's Avatar
I thought I changed this
 
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Cool Old

I very quietly confided to my best friend that I was having an affair.

She turned to me and asked, 'Are you having it catered'?

And that, my friend, is the sad definition of 'OLD'!




Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked,
'How old was your husband?'
'98,' she replied: 'Two years older than me'
'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.
She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'



Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman:
'And what do you think is the best thing
About being 104?' the reporter asked.
She simply replied, 'No peer pressure.'



I've sure gotten old!
I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement,
New knees, fought prostate cancer and diabetes
I'm half blind,
Can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine,
Take 40 different medications that
Make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts.
Have bouts with dementia.
Have poor circulation;
Hardly feel my hands and feet anymore.
Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92.
Have lost all my friends. But, thank God,
I still have my driver's license.


Know how to prevent sagging?
Just eat till the wrinkles fill out.



THE SENILITY PRAYER :
Grant me the senility to forget the people
I never liked anyway,
The good fortune to run into the ones I do, and
The eyesight to tell the difference.
__________________
"When choosing between two evils I like to try the one I've never tried before"





Thx Fuzzy Dude


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