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Old 01-29-2009, 07:47 PM
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Guaranteed Weight Loss Program

Not sure if you've made a New Years resolution to lose weight and this program is not meant for every man, but most certainly one that might bring results. Not for the timid!

*The Guaranteed Weight Loss Program*

A guy calls a company and orders their Guaranteed 5-day/5 lb. weight loss program. The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her neck.

She introduces herself as a representative of the Guaranteed Weight Loss Company. The sign reads, "If you can catch me, you can have me."

Without a second thought, he takes off after her. A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally gives up.

The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens daily.

At the end of the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs., as promised.

He calls the company and orders their Guaranteed 5-day/10 pound weight loss program.

The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the absolute most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life . She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads, "If you catch me you can have me".

Well, he's out the door after her like a shot. This girl is in excellent shape and he does his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happens with him gradually getting in better and better shape.

Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighs himself, he discovers that he has lost another 10 lbs. as promised. He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the Guaranteed 7-day/25 pound weight loss program.

"Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone. "This is our most rigorous program."

"Absolutely," he replies, "I haven't felt this good in years and I'm up for the challenge!!"

The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that reads...,

"If I catch you, your ass is mine!"

He lost 42 pounds that week.
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