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Old 12-16-2008, 10:06 AM
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E Golf

I began to dislike the game when I discovered you were required to get
up at o'dark thirty
I wouldn't say that my golf game was that bad, but if I grew tomatoes
they'd come up sliced.
-
It took me fourteen years, from Little League to senior year on the
varsity club to get three thousand hits in baseball. I did it in one
afternoon on the golf course.
-
I guess they call it golf cuz all the other four letter words were
taken.
It's estimated that the game is played by twenty million mature American
men whose wives are laboring under the mistaken belief that there
husbands are out having fun. Have you ever noticed what golf spells
backwards? The only time my prayers were never answered was on the golf
course.
-
I found that if I reversed every natural instinct and did the opposite
of what I was I inclined to do, and I would probably come very close to
having a perfect golf swing.
-
Golf is a game in which you yell "fore," shoot six, and write down five.
-
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf
ball.
It's considered good sportsmanship to not pick up lost golf balls while
they are still rolling.
-
Golf and sex are the only things you can enjoy without being good at
them.
-
The difference between golf and government is that in golf you can't
improve your lie.
-
I learned a long time ago in Chicago when a thief stole my car with the
clubs in the trunk I decided to give up the game and have since
practiced, give me golf clubs, fresh air & a beautiful partner, and you
can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

Golf is a game invented by the same people who think music comes out of
a bagpipe.
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