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Old 12-16-2008, 09:09 AM
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PG13 2 good ones



While doing a vasectomy, the doctor slipped and cut off one of the man's
balls. To avoid a huge malpractice suit, he decided to replace the
missing testicle with a pickled onion. Several weeks later, the patient
returned for a checkup.
"How's your sex life?", asked the doctor. "Pretty
good", the man said, to the doctor's obvious relief. But then
the patient added, "I've had some strange side effects that are
causing serious problems."
"What's that?", the doctor asked anxiously. "Well, every
time I urinate, my eyes water", said the man. "Hmm", said the
doctor, thoughtfully. "That's not all", continued the patient.
"When my wife gives me a blowjob, she gets heartburn."
"Hmm", said the doctor, as his face reddened. "It gets
worse, Doc. Now, every time I pass a hamburger stand...I get
a hard-on!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A man returning home a day early from a business trip got into a
taxi at the airport just after midnight. The man suspected his wife was
having an affair and he intended to catch her in the act. While enroute
to his home, he asked the cabby if he was willing to be a witness. For
$100, the cabby agreed.
Quietly arriving at the house, the husband and cabby tiptoed into
the bedroom. The husband switched on the lights, yanked the blanket back
and there was his wife in the arms of another man. The husband pulled
out a gun and held it to the naked man's head. His wife
shouted, "Don't do it! This man has been very generous! I lied when I
told you I inherited all that money. This man paid for the Corvette I
bought for you. He paid for our new cabin cruiser and the yacht club
membership. He paid for our cottage at the lake. He paid for our golf
club membership, and he even pays the monthly dues!"
Shaking his head from side-to-side, the husband slowly lowered the
gun. He looked over at the cab driver and said, "What would you do?"
The cabby said, "I'd cover him up with that blanket before he catches a
cold."
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