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Old 12-11-2008, 01:32 AM
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Department Store Santa

Department Store Santa

As the Christmas season draws nigh, foretelling the end of over a
full month of Commercial Christmas, there is a special urgency in
the spirits of children as they visit toy stores and toy
departments all over the country. It was with particular urgency
that little Little Johnny dragged his mother to the toy department
in a big department store.

Mother quickly steered Little Johnny into the line of children
waiting to talk to Santa, but Little Johnny was far more interested
in the hobby horse. As soon as his mother relaxed her vigilance
for a moment, Little Johnny vanished from the Santa Queue and
began rocking back and forth on the hobby horse. His mother
noticed his absence, and after a quick, frantic search, spotted
him on the horse. She let him rock for a few minutes, then told
him it was time to get off. Little Johnny ignored her. She began to
beg; Little Johnny paid no attention. She began to make promises
of sugarplums, etc., if only Little Johnny would get off the hobby

He stuck his nasty little tongue out at her.

Then Santa himself, who had been watching this little family drama
out of the corner of his eye, stepped over and said to Little
Johnny's mother, "Perhaps I can persuade your son to cooperate."

"I doubt that," said the mother, "but you're welcome to try."

Santa, with a big smile, whispered quietly into Little Johnny's
ear. Little Johnny's eyes grew very large, he quickly slid off the
horse and took his mother's hand.

Together, with no fuss, they left the store. As they drove home,
Mama asked Little Johnny what Santa had whispered to him. Little
Johnny was silent. Mama began offering bribes (toys and German
Chocolate cake) if Little Johnny would only tell Mama what Santa's
words were.

Little Johnny turned pale and wouldn't utter a word.

What had Santa said?

Little Johnny's mother was determined to find out. She had never
been able to get the kid to obey that easily, and decided it was

worth a great deal of effort on her part to discover what magic
Santa Claus had used on Little Johnny. She continued to bribe him
with a soft voice and much cajolery, and Little Johnny's stubborn
streak finally faded. What did Santa say?

Little Johnny now answered "He said, 'Listen, you little son of a
bitch, if you don't climb your ass the hell down off that horse
right this second, I'm going to kick the living shit out of you!' "

I'm a licenced MTA Artist and Assistant Producer for the upcoming film
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The screenplay written by Chris Bond creator of Evil Dead, The Musical
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The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to psyco For This Useful Post:
Jaded1 (12-11-2008), Texas_Bugman (12-11-2008)


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