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Old 12-06-2008, 12:46 PM
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Department Store Santa Peeves




- Kids who refuse to believe that's fruitcake on your breath, not gin

- When the last guy to use the beard leaves bits of his lunch in it

- Even with the costume, people recognizing you from "Crime Watch"

- Parents who get all uptight when you offer their kids a swig from
your hip flask

- Enduring the taunts of your old buddies from Drama School

- Those dorks in the Power Rangers costumes get all the babes

- Kids who don't understand that Santa's been a little jittery since
he got back from 'Nam

- Constantly being asked, "Is Rudolph gay?"

- Two words: lap rash



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