6 reasons you're not in the mood

[CHRISK]

6 reasons you're not in the mood
Something’s missing. What could it be? Your keys? Your Blackberry? Oh, right…your sex drive. Maybe you’re without a ready partner. Or maybe you’re peeved at the partner you do have. (Did he leave the seat up again?) Then again, it might have little to do with him. Health problems can also pull a David Copperfield and make your libido disappear. Read on to find out why you’ve lost that lovin’ feeling and to learn what you can do to get it back…

You remember having a sex drive once. Fondly, in fact. But lately, it seems like you need a GPS tracker to locate your libido. You’re not alone. It’s estimated that about one-third of American women experience some type of hypoactive (underactive) sexual disorder – otherwise known as “I’m not in the mood tonight.”

Here are six common sex drive sappers – and six solutions to help you put the va-va-voom back in your bedroom:

1. You’re stressed.
It would take a small army of clowns to match what one working mom juggles every day. But as any veteran multitasker knows, the more balls you’ve got in the air, the more stressed you become. And when you start looking for items to scrap from your To Do list, sex is often the first to go.

“Women can do many things at once, which works to our advantage work-wise and life-wise, but it does make things hard sexually,” says Chicago sex and relationship therapist Laura Berman, PhD, author of Passion Prescription (Hyperion, 2006). “Most women find themselves in a situation where they just put the kids to bed and cleaned up the kitchen and made lunch for the next day, and they can finally pass out or watch TV, and the last thing they feel like doing is having sex.”

What can help: Ask your partner to take over some chores. If he can take a little off your plate, you can relax, which means you’re “better able to respond sexually,” says Berman.




2. You’re using hormone-based contraceptives.
This is a cruel irony: The very kinds of birth control that are meant to inspire free-spirited nooky (i.e. pills, patches, rings, and injections) lower testosterone levels. For some women, that depresses libido.

What can help: Talk to your gynecologist about swapping brands. Birth control pills contain estrogen and various types of synthetic progesterone called progestin. In some pills, the progestin behaves more like testosterone and can actually increase libido, explains Mary Jane Minkin, MD, clinical professor of obstetrics and gynecology at Yale University School of Medicine in New Haven, Connecticut. Or opt for a barrier method (diaphragm, cervical cap, condoms, or IUD), which has no affect on sex drive.

3. You’re taking medication.
Contraceptives aren’t the only meds that can take the wind out of your sails. Benzodiazepines, like Valium and Xanax, can also short-circuit your sex drive. So can beta-blockers taken for high blood pressure and antihistamines, which can dry up your vagina along with your runny nose. Selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI) antidepressants can blunt desire to such a degree that men often take them to remedy premature ejaculation, according to sex researcher Beverly Whipple, PhD, co-author of The Science of Orgasm (Johns Hopkins University Press, 2006).

What can help: Try a different beta-blocker or antidepressant. If you’re feeling good on your SSRIs, and your only complaint is that you wish you felt more sexual, talk with your doctor about adjusting your dosage. Mixing a low dose of another kind of antidepressant, like Wellbutrin, with your SSRI can restore libido, says Minkin.

4. You’re not sleeping well.
According to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, women are more than twice as likely as men to have trouble sleeping. And sleeplessness has an enormous impact on desire. First, not getting enough shut-eye disrupts sex hormones like estrogen and progesterone. But perhaps more important, missing out on sleep can make you too irritable for sex. And if it’s your hubby’s snoring that’s robbing you of snooze time, you probably feel more like smothering him with a pillow than smothering him with kisses.

Indeed, 23% of respondents surveyed for the National Sleep Foundation’s 2005 Sleep in America poll reported that their mate’s sleep habits drove them to sleep elsewhere. “If you’re battling over sleep, it’s hard to maintain intimacy,” notes Gary Zammit, PhD, director of the Sleep Disorders Institute at St. Luke’s Roosevelt Hospital in New York.

What can help: Make your bedroom a dark, quiet, sleep-friendly haven. Banish work items, turn off the TV and invest in a comfortable mattress. Use earplugs and a sleep mask to block out light and noise. Check your meds to ensure that they don’t contain stimulants. You can also talk with your doctor about a short-term prescription for sleeping pills if you need more help getting a good night’s rest. If your partner is keeping you up, talk with him about ways to diminish his snoring (like losing weight and avoiding alcohol in the evening, for example). If all else fails, take your partner to a sleep specialist. “When you sleep better and are less irritable, you’re a lot more interested in sex,” says Minkin. That should be good enough incentive for him!




< PrevPage | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5Next >5. You have an overactive bladder.
About one-third of women with overactive bladders “leak” during intercourse, states Jane Miller, MD, associate professor of urology at the University of Washington in Seattle. Miller believes that orgasm may cause a slight blip in communication between the brain and bladder. “The bladder always wants to go to the bathroom and the only reason it doesn’t is because there are these inhibitory messages sent from the brain to the bladder saying no,” explains Miller. For some women, orgasm may override these messages and as a result, they release a small amount of urine during sex. “It only has to happen once or twice for women to become sensitive about this, and that puts a damper on their interest because they don’t want to pee on their partners,” says Miller.

What can help: Making a pit stop before sex may reduce the chances of a spill, since involuntary bladder contractions are often triggered by volume, says Miller. You can also talk to your doctor about getting a prescription for medications like Detrol or Ditropan, used to treat overactive bladder.

6. You’re in menopause.
You lose about 90% of your estrogen – the sex hormone largely responsible for arousal and lubrication – once you hit this milestone. As levels drop, the vaginal tissue thins and dries out, which can make sex painful enough to make you want to opt out for good. For many women, the drop in estrogen alone explains a dive in libido. But other aspects of menopause may also leave you feeling decidedly unsexy. Among them: hot flashes, weight gain, mood swings, apprehension about getting older, and the erratic, heavy menstruation that can occur before your periods stop for good.

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[cheekylilschit]

Watching Dr Phil the other day where a wife/mother was complaining that she just didn't have the urge to have sex, where as her hubby wanted it a few times a week.

He said that one of the most sexiest things a man could do, was to come home from work... sit her down, cook dinner, bath the kids and put them to bed.

I agree ...THAT'S SEXY and will outscore a bunch of roses anyday.

[GiJane]

Chris......are you havin' problems sweetie?

[Absolute BiOnyx]

#7 - he has such a small dick, you don't even care about sex anymore...

[CHRISK]

Originally Posted by Absolute BiOnyx

#7 - he has such a small dick, you don't even care about sex anymore...

lol small dicks need loving 2

[Gothic_Goddess]

Originally Posted by Cheyenne61

Watching Dr Phil the other day where a wife/mother was complaining that she just didn't have the urge to have sex, where as her hubby wanted it a few times a week.

He said that one of the most sexiest things a man could do, was to come home from work... sit her down, cook dinner, bath the kids and put them to bed.

I agree ...THAT'S SEXY and will outscore a bunch of roses anyday.

So true hun, so true.

I told my man the other day "you wonder why i have no energy for sex?"
So he looked at me funny so i said "the sexyest thing to get me in the mood would be not to have to do all the housework and look after the kids 24/7, so if you do some of the housework i can recharge my batteries for you insted of moping the floor".
Well shock horror he walked straight over to the washing machine and put on a load and looked at me, so i said "what you want some"?
We both just laughed but he gets the point now and a few more things